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, jon. we're done rapping and jamming. >> it's all good. >> jon: all right. hey, i think it's informative when we can discuss these things with panel of people directly affected by them. how do you think people will be seen by people who read the drudge report? >> i don't know, run it through the old drudgey cam. >> jon: right, the lens we filter all their information through. can you cue that up. >> we're in your front yard and we're still mad about slavery. >> yeah, we're going to buy crack with the food stamps you're paying for. >> and then we're going the rape your white babies. >> hey, whoa, whoa. >> whoa, that's too much. >> settle down. >> sorry. this is my first black panel, guys. i'm really exied. really nice to be here. >> jon: thank you, guys. >> jon: welcome back. as you know, tonight's presidential debate wasn't the only high-profile verbal dust-up scheduled the take place this week. that's right. i'm talking about the rumble in the air conditioned auditorium. did that reverb at
, jon. we're done rapping and jamming. >> it's all good. >> jon: all right. hey, i think it's informative when we can discuss these things with panel of people directly affected by them. how do you think people will be seen by people who read the drudge report? >> i don't know, run it through the old drudgey cam. >> jon: right, the lens we filter all their information through. can you cue that up. >> we're in your front yard and we're still mad about slavery....
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. >> jon: what? wait! what? >> governor romney learned during his days listening to bruce springsteen in a -- >> jon: what? >> in a haze of pot smoke dreaming of becoming a stand up comedian. >> jon: oh, my god! that's just like my life. i didn't know romney was so relatable! >> jon, you see what he's doing! this isn't a question of romney's biography, this is about hard experience. you've heard the president, he's been everywhere. from pah-kee-stahn, to bra-see-o, to (southern accent) south carolina and of course (southern accent) australia. >> jon: (laughs) that's how australians say australia? >> they do if they're from south carolina, jon, yes. >> jon: pronouncing these different regions like you're a sophomore just back from a semester abroad is pretentious. it's a little dickish. >> jon, this is no time for name calling and, in fact, governor romney understands john oliver's frustration. (laughter) it's a feeling that's been nagging at him since he was a scrappy little street rat selling papers for tuppenc
. >> jon: what? wait! what? >> governor romney learned during his days listening to bruce springsteen in a -- >> jon: what? >> in a haze of pot smoke dreaming of becoming a stand up comedian. >> jon: oh, my god! that's just like my life. i didn't know romney was so relatable! >> jon, you see what he's doing! this isn't a question of romney's biography, this is about hard experience. you've heard the president, he's been everywhere. from pah-kee-stahn, to...
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jon: thank you, sir. we worked on that for almost an hour. >> especially the obama afterwards. you had me on the floor on that one. >> jon: thank you, sir. i imagine he's been on there as well, recently. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. he better get up in a hurry. >> jon: you have to get up. let me get rid of the business first. this oracle, what is this a home test, hiv? you're endorsing this? >> yes, because it's important when you think about the hiv and aids fight today, we want to test more people, and so a lot of times, people then want to go to a doctor or to an hiv-aids clinic to get an hiv-aids test. now they've made it possible so you can do it in your own home. >> jon: an in-home. >> in-home displ and it's scientifically sound? >> yes, because doctors were already using this. now it's available to the public. >> jon: there's a lot of, obviously, rivalries in your business. are you worried larry bird will now come out with-- ( laughter ) hiv test, and we will try and blow your test out of the water? >> kno
jon: thank you, sir. we worked on that for almost an hour. >> especially the obama afterwards. you had me on the floor on that one. >> jon: thank you, sir. i imagine he's been on there as well, recently. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. he better get up in a hurry. >> jon: you have to get up. let me get rid of the business first. this oracle, what is this a home test, hiv? you're endorsing this? >> yes, because it's important when you think about the hiv and aids fight today,...
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jon. >> jon: thank you, larry. on the off chance yelling doesn't work. >> again, we're dealing with the elderly. they don't see so well so you can always use the art of disguise. >> jon: oh, yeah, right, the art of disguise is going to make sure that people -- hey, where'd larry go. i was just talking to larry about voter fraud. >> what larry? i'm luigi, i want my ballot and some dinner! >> jon: all right, i'm sorry, i'll try to find a ballot for you -- oh, geez! larry! good to have you back, i was just talking with an asian gentleman. (laughter) >> was my accent that bad? >> jon: it was terrible. i really think you should stick with intimidation. >> you're probably right. get me another ballot, i (bleep)ed this one up! (laughter) larry wilmore, everybody. we'll be right xngvc@c@ >> jon: on november 6, americans will go to the polls to choose either barack obama or milton romney as our next president. (laughter) but what if-- what if-- it had been cain? (laughter) john oliver has more in this continuing series. >>
jon. >> jon: thank you, larry. on the off chance yelling doesn't work. >> again, we're dealing with the elderly. they don't see so well so you can always use the art of disguise. >> jon: oh, yeah, right, the art of disguise is going to make sure that people -- hey, where'd larry go. i was just talking to larry about voter fraud. >> what larry? i'm luigi, i want my ballot and some dinner! >> jon: all right, i'm sorry, i'll try to find a ballot for you -- oh, geez!...
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> jon: welcome to the daily show. i am jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. joining us for the first time, the governator, arnold schwarzenegger will join us on the program. i wonder what that might have sounded light, it might have gone a little something like this. >> taxi? >> i have zero to work on that impression. >> this is the first presidential debate is wednesday, biggest day of the whole year, for editors of podiums magazine. boy. a buying make or break moment for both campaigns and they are going all out preparing. >> president obama and governor mitt romney are preparing for wednesday's debate on in denver. >> msnbc obama's leaving on sunday for two or three days of debate camp. >> oh, debate camp! >> oh i remember going to debate camp, i remember like no sports, a bitter rival, camp normal malfun. >> let's see if i remember the debate camp stopping if i can. ♪ >> on the shores of lake rhetoric, we practiced logical consistency. will beat your ad hominem attacks on false tautologies. and logical fals
> jon: welcome to the daily show. i am jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. joining us for the first time, the governator, arnold schwarzenegger will join us on the program. i wonder what that might have sounded light, it might have gone a little something like this. >> taxi? >> i have zero to work on that impression. >> this is the first presidential debate is wednesday, biggest day of the whole year, for editors of podiums magazine. boy. a buying make or break moment...
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my name is jon stewart. my guest one william james bill o'reilly will be discussing his book killing kennedy which i can only assume is a confession. let's get right to, it. we know this is a deeply divided nation, until last night when something brought all americans together in agreement. >> president obama took a shell acting. >> he was not properly prepared for this. >> the president didn't bring his a game. >> he was just so dull. >> he looked tired to me. >> romney won hands down. >> he was very, very bad last night. >> jon: there is no red america there is no blue america there is only the america that can't believe how bad this guy did in the debate. how bad was the defeat o bama lost despite mitt romney doing this. >> i'm sorry, i will stop the sub sid to pgs. i like big board, i like few, but i'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from china to pay for it. >> jon: mother [bleep] fired big board. america's favorite nonfried bird. he fired big board and won. beloved childre
my name is jon stewart. my guest one william james bill o'reilly will be discussing his book killing kennedy which i can only assume is a confession. let's get right to, it. we know this is a deeply divided nation, until last night when something brought all americans together in agreement. >> president obama took a shell acting. >> he was not properly prepared for this. >> the president didn't bring his a game. >> he was just so dull. >> he looked tired to me....
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>> jon? >> jon: no, i'm going float to commercial and we'll have a conversation. we do have to go to d >> jon: welcome back. here speaking to president barack obama. second half starts to go faster. the questions will get a little tougher. how many times a week does biden show up in a wet bathing suit to a meeting? just ball park figure you're? >> i had to put out a presidential directive on that. we had to stop it. >> jon: have you to put towels down. >> i have to say he looks pretty good. >> jon: i don't doubt that. this is something i call still or no. so you're president now. before you ran you had certain things that you thought -- i wonder if four years of president has changed that. first is we don't have to trade our values and ideals for our security. do you still feel that way? >> we don't. there are things we haven't gotten done. i still want to close guantanamo bay. one thing we have to do is put a legal architecture in place and we need congressional help do that to make sure not only am i reined in and an president's reigned in in terms of decisions.
>> jon? >> jon: no, i'm going float to commercial and we'll have a conversation. we do have to go to d >> jon: welcome back. here speaking to president barack obama. second half starts to go faster. the questions will get a little tougher. how many times a week does biden show up in a wet bathing suit to a meeting? just ball park figure you're? >> i had to put out a presidential directive on that. we had to stop it. >> jon: have you to put towels down. >> i...
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(laughter) >> jon: kitty still hungry. how about the cap al gains loophole that lower tax rate on investment income. that's $71 billion ayear, giveaway to 1%ers if there ever was one. >> one of the reason that it's lower is because capital has already been taxed once at the corporate level. as high as 35%. i, so i you think it is fair? >> yeah, i think it's the right way to encourage economic growth. >> in fact, romney hasn't specified a single (bleep)ing deduction! ten largest current individual tax breaks totaling $4842 billion a year for elimination, not one. dude couldn't be more vague if he were an hbo season finale. boom! boom! (cheers and applause) take that "hung" season 3. (laughter) how could he they not let us know what ray is going to do next with his giant dong? (laughter) well, you can't expect romney to lay out a specific plan with numbers and budgets. he's not a businessman, he's -- sorry? (laughter) we need a numbers guy. >> those of you who know me, i'm kind of a numbers guy. >> jon: there he is! the capi
(laughter) >> jon: kitty still hungry. how about the cap al gains loophole that lower tax rate on investment income. that's $71 billion ayear, giveaway to 1%ers if there ever was one. >> one of the reason that it's lower is because capital has already been taxed once at the corporate level. as high as 35%. i, so i you think it is fair? >> yeah, i think it's the right way to encourage economic growth. >> in fact, romney hasn't specified a single (bleep)ing deduction! ten...
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we'll be right ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. we're talking about last week's vice presidential debate. there was something very unusual about that debate. had to do with the moderator martha raddatz >> wasn't this a massive intelligence failure, vice president biden? you have refused again to offer specifics on how you pay for that 20% across-the-board tax cut >> not a single thing he said is accurate. first of all... >> be specific. that's another question. how do you do that? military follows orders. i mean, trust me, there are people who are concerned about pulling out. do you actually have the specifics or are you still working on it and that's why you won't tell voters? >> jon: i don't know what it was but it was the language of journalism being spoken on modern television. i couldn't believe it. martha raddatz! watching her moderate that debate with... oh, my god, editorial... like going to amish country and seeing them making beautiful chairs by hand. you're like i thought this craft had been completely forgotten. why can
we'll be right ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. we're talking about last week's vice presidential debate. there was something very unusual about that debate. had to do with the moderator martha raddatz >> wasn't this a massive intelligence failure, vice president biden? you have refused again to offer specifics on how you pay for that 20% across-the-board tax cut >> not a single thing he said is accurate. first of all... >> be specific. that's another...
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jon, they're indoctrinating our kids, jon. >> our kids! jon: patriot street wouldn't teach kids to share? >> it would simply put that sharing in context. would you share your food with someone? >> yes. but that would create a culture of dependency >> if i have my food i'll give it to them >> you're taking away the motivation to earn that food for themselves >> um-hum did you not read that copy of atlas shrugged i loaned you? ( cheers and applause ) >> after the grouch has been mooching for too long. >> yep. he needs to pull himself up by his own boot straps. >> jon: i don't think oscar the grouch has feet. >> oh, my god. none of us have feet. (screaming) >> jon: we'll be right lcome back, everybody. big news. big news. the new unemployment numbers are in. the new unemployment numbers are in >> the dramatic drop in the unemployment rate from 8.1% to 7.8% >> jon: oh, mid go. 8.1 to 7.8. the skies above are partly cloudy. so, lowest jobless number in nearly four years. seems like we're moving in the right direction or to put that another way.
jon, they're indoctrinating our kids, jon. >> our kids! jon: patriot street wouldn't teach kids to share? >> it would simply put that sharing in context. would you share your food with someone? >> yes. but that would create a culture of dependency >> if i have my food i'll give it to them >> you're taking away the motivation to earn that food for themselves >> um-hum did you not read that copy of atlas shrugged i loaned you? ( cheers and applause ) >>...
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. >> jon: school nurse. >> let's do it. [laughter] >> jon: you'd like the job? >> yes. >> jon: do you have a professional pupil services license. >> i do not. >> jon: issued by the ohio licensing boardment >> i do not. >> jon: what experience do you have in this field? >> i've stabilized guys with a wound in his chest, replenished fluids, breathed for him for 37 minutes until we could get a blackhawk helicopter to get him to the next echelon of care. [cheering and applause] >> jon: let me ask you a question. are you familiar with kickball? [laughter] in the job that i'm asking of you, you will be required to deal with bruising. were there tummy aches were you were? >> we had tummy aches in iraq. >> jon: so you are not in any way licensed or qualified to work as a school nurse? >> that's correct. the only certification i have is an emt basic. >> jon: now, but you clearly both have had the experience and the training far above and beyond what any of these jobs would require and also seem to have, and i recognize this before in people and i don't necessarily recogn
. >> jon: school nurse. >> let's do it. [laughter] >> jon: you'd like the job? >> yes. >> jon: do you have a professional pupil services license. >> i do not. >> jon: issued by the ohio licensing boardment >> i do not. >> jon: what experience do you have in this field? >> i've stabilized guys with a wound in his chest, replenished fluids, breathed for him for 37 minutes until we could get a blackhawk helicopter to get him to the next...
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Oct 18, 2012
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. >> jon: okay. in fact, obama's publicly financed detroit auto industry managed bankruptcy is not precisely what romney recommended. romney precisely recommended private credit, which at the time was to be precise non-existent. meaning under his plan detroit's bankruptcy would have been unmanaged and quite permanent. so the big question would be: which version of barack obama would respond. the first debate, sleepy time ma gill cutty or pretty talk jones. >> candy, what governor romney said just isn't true. >> jon: it's alive! it's alive! [cheering and applause] whoa, whoa. yes, president barack obama decided to attend this debate. [laughter] and the two candidates could finally have a truthful, substantive discussion about how much they [bleeped] hate each other. [laughter] >> governor, we have actually produced more oil. >> no, no, how much did you cut licenses and permits on federal land and federal... >> production is up. >> it's down. >> no it isn't. >> production on government land and oil is
. >> jon: okay. in fact, obama's publicly financed detroit auto industry managed bankruptcy is not precisely what romney recommended. romney precisely recommended private credit, which at the time was to be precise non-existent. meaning under his plan detroit's bankruptcy would have been unmanaged and quite permanent. so the big question would be: which version of barack obama would respond. the first debate, sleepy time ma gill cutty or pretty talk jones. >> candy, what governor...
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my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, the house democratic minority leader nancy pelosi will be joining us tonight. maybe we'll talk about the election! maybe we'll fwaukt selection, which you may have heard is happening, 12 days from now in the great state of ohio. (laughter) i'm not sure if any other states are voting this year, but candidates are beginning to make their closing arguments. and if i could frame them through lyrics and music of the great britney spears, barack obama is saying to the electorate, hit me baby, one more time. (laughter) whereas mitt romney is perhaps suggesting, i'm a genie in a bottle. (laughter) really, they're not sung by the same person, are you sure? no, they are sung by the wonders that judge on the talent show. there's two music talent shows? i have got to get myself a zune. (laughter) what are we talking about? oh, yeah, mitt romney's closing arguments. >> the government of the united states is not a good venture capitalists, he likes to pick winners and losers, abo
my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, the house democratic minority leader nancy pelosi will be joining us tonight. maybe we'll talk about the election! maybe we'll fwaukt selection, which you may have heard is happening, 12 days from now in the great state of ohio. (laughter) i'm not sure if any other states are voting this year, but candidates are beginning to make their closing arguments. and if i could frame them through lyrics and music of the great britney spears, barack obama is...
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a good one for you tonight. the actress olivia wilde, star of the new movie "butter" will be here. she's going to churn up. . . some. . . excitement. (laughter) i hate myself. let's begin tonight with a crisis rocking this nation. >> a huge outcry, millions talking about it, tweeting, facebooking about it, it's gone viral. >> the two sides are locked basically in this labor dispute. >> jon: a labor dispute! yes, as it was in the days of the triangle shirtwaist factory and the pinkerton boys. a labor dispute has once again taught americans about the irreplaceable value of working men and women. >> chicago standoff. teachers now say they will not be back today as their strike enters its second week. >> jon: not that labor dispute. (laughter) irreplaceable working men! not lazy public sector-- fattened on gift apples and lounging in their faculty lounges with their chalky fingers and mugs! (laughter) all of which proclaim they to be the world's greatest teacher! there can be
(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a good one for you tonight. the actress olivia wilde, star of the new movie "butter" will be here. she's going to churn up. . . some. . . excitement. (laughter) i hate myself. let's begin tonight with a crisis rocking this nation. >> a huge outcry, millions talking about it, tweeting, facebooking about it, it's gone viral. >> the two sides are locked basically in...